When I was a baby my Uncle didn’t turn up his headphones to block out my cries. Instead, he sang me We’re all in the dance by Feist until I settled, in French and English too. 

When I was two I cut my knee, Ned and all the other kids laughed at my tears, so my Uncle bit his finger until it bled and shrieked Ned bit me.

My Uncle read me The Diggiest-dog when I was four and when I ripped a page in the book.

Instead of telling me off, he put me in Gosling his pet whippets transport cage and took me to the pound. Then placed a sign above my head saying this child violated a book.

When I was six I wanted to go to the Easter show, luckily my uncle warned me that kids who go there get their stomach trapped in pipes like Augustus Gloop and throw up all their eggs

So he took me to a music festival instead and from his shoulders I saw Of Monsters and Men, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs and Scissor Sisters play.  

When I was eight I wanted my uncle to buy me a skateboard and show me the tricks he used to do. Unfortunately, he told me he didn’t know any tricks, as he was more of a scene skater.

So he flew me to Brooklyn to see the seventies skate exhibition and introduced me to my new Uncle. My new Uncle even showed me how to kickflip, ollie and rail slide the gallery steps too.

I could have had a French Uncle or one that worked at a kindergarten too, my uncle could have worked with dogs or set the stages for rockstars.

Not many of my friends have an Uncle like mine. Some of my friends think my Uncle is weird and their parents say that Uncle of yours he’s just wrong!

But I think I’m the luckiest kid in my class because I have two uncles who live in a house filled with tech-treats, vending machines and a supergiant lady called Whoopi Vageberg, who sings me every song off the radio that I choose. 

Thanks for reading my submission, I would love to see this illustrated for Tiny Stories Volume 3, transformed into a short animated film and read by children of all ages and enjoyed by their parents and even Uncles and Aunts too. 

Written by Samuel Elliot Snowden.