Life is nothing if not change is a phrase from one of my favourite texts Holding the Man, it’s a notion that since reading that work I have instilled into my outlook towards life. Living with this notion in the back of mind has allowed me to accept the good, the bad and the ugly and move beyond it and learn from it too.

Though sometimes life’s short, those we love dearly can be faced with the harsh realities of health and life, and on a cold winters day have to accept that their life will not be the life they thought it would be.

Ten months ago on a rooftop in Melbourne, a dear friend shared with me the framework of what was to be the next chapters of their life. Whilst initially I was scared for them, shed tears for them and abused the moon for cursing them with a wolf like this. Their outlook, their approach and their acceptance that having to change to live with this illness was not an ailment but an opportunity for them to live their life like it should be lived, absorbing every moment possible and showing those they love just how much they love them as much as was humanly possible, changed my life too.

Since that night they have embraced life like they never did before and from our emails back and forth across the universe as they explore the globe, I’ve learnt five key lessons from their musings. Five statements that I now too plan to live my life in accordance to, so that my life never becomes stagnant, hidden in the shadows of the depressive or intoxicated by the highs of excessive indulgence.

• Procreate until you can’t: Illness can take the dream of having a family and a child that is intrinsically and genetically a part of you away. But really if we create daily, commit to our craft, acquire new friendships and are re-born in new destinations, procreation doesn’t need to remain something for those blessed with a functioning reproductive system.

• When it’s hard to breathe, breathe through others: Too often just breathing can seem like a struggle, we become overwhelmed by emotions and moments and blind to see all that we really do have. But in life there is always someone else we can breathe through, it can be a friend’s laughter, a stranger’s story, the context of a song or the narrative of a film. Every moment that we are alive is a moment to share a breath with someone else.

• Death is an opportunity, not a sentence: The Big C diagnosis ripples through our world daily and people through one moment of trusting another can be shot or gifted with a disease that they never asked for. You can mourn it, you can hate the world for it but you also can’t do anything to change it. The only thing you can do when the grim reapers hands reach out a little closer to you is to embrace it. Embrace life, embrace the opportunities, embrace exploration and embrace loving those who made you until you no longer can.

• Say yes more, love more: Many of us make 5-year plans, we have set trajectories and things we must achieve to be where we want to be or think we want to be. We say no to love, we say no to travel and we say no to parties on rooftops that may change our lives. I guess if you’re saying no to everything because you desperately want to be somewhere, you’ve got to ask yourself honestly what experiences do I remember with great fondness on my journey from beginning this 5-year plan to completing it?

• Be a brave bitch: We all can become complacent, we all can become overwhelmed by fears of the unknown and we all act accordingly in a manner that is deemed acceptable and has been instilled in us from a young age. But whether you’re in a job you hate, a relationship that is going nowhere or living in a city that you’d really no longer like to call home. You have to always remember that you’re not Jesus and you don’t have to die a martyr for a job, partner and environment that’s not fulfilling your needs or getting you anywhere!

I guess it’s true that if you accept death and disease for what it is and see the positive in what most would perceive as a negative, then a life-threatening diagnosis can really be the most fun you can have dying.

Written by Samuel Elliot Snowden